uh yeah

{name 3 colors you love}: red, white, and pink

{would you ever dye your hair any of those colors?} : already went red ;)

{if you could choose one skill to be fantastic at, what would it be?} : being a light in this broken world

{do you like to decorate your room with pictures and other decor?} : theres so many pictures, posters, paintings, and other random chizz


{what was the most shocking moment of your life?} : when my house was on fire


{name three songs you love} : "on and on"- chasen, "lead me" sanctus real, and "lucy "-skillet

{have you ever, quote "danced the night away"?} : uhm prom 2008??

{who's your favorite author?} : people who wrote the Bible

{did you like this tag?} : yes it made me think ;)

{tag any number of people you like, followed by a note of sorts} :
Meredith: i love you girl
Anuty Susan: i know you won't do this

Birthday Dinner

I know this is late seeing that my birthday was over a month ago but anyways... lol enjoy.

Me and my mommy (:

John John

When did my little guy get so big? I miss my nephew soooooooooooooooooooooo much!!!

I just want to say.. i love and miss you

To my dearest friend who i miss greatly.

Two years without you have come and gone yet they feel like eternity. Even as I write this, I cry because I miss your smiling face. I wish I could adequatly express more of how I feel. I can't though. I want to say so long my friend. I love you!

i miss you mere

I tried to make it better with this lovelyness and I feel like it made me miss you more. Remember how we were like hmmmm cute car let's take a pic with it? WE ARE WEIRD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A ramble

These were the days that I waited for that dreadful phone call. When I was scared to move because I knew that in a moment it could all be gone. In a matter of minutes all of the feelings could come back. And they have. They continue to year after year. They haunt me and remind of what once was and the pain that enveloped me. The feelings of wanting to punch a wall. Of wanting to throw my phone across the room. To reply to that text and say "it isn't true". Tell them she's still here. To fight the urge to believe that this is all a dream that one day I will wake up and she will be home. To pretend we have all healed and that our grief has ended. Oh but the lies I live when I force myself to believe she is going to walk in the door. How cold and utterly alone I felt after the news. The shock was to hard for me to cry at first. I just wanted to scream. To blame someone but there wasn't anyone to blame. Life ran it's course and hers came to an end. I remember the crying spurts I had that day. I cried before school. I stopped long enough to put make up on. Then the hugs and "I'm Sorry's" came when I got to school and man did I loose it again. I remember every detail from what I was wearing to how cold it was outside. I remember how hard it was to breathe and how it felt like the air had been sucked out of the room. I remember trembling as I opened the text message and as I read it how I hung my head. All of these memories can feel so distant yet so fresh at the same time. I guess I had to let go to find God in a real way. It all just stinks so much.