EEEEEK!!!

I am way to excited! I snapped that yesterday when I was feeling out my prayer card :). I just got that over excited feeling, wrote that down, and snapped the picture. Man God is soooo good!

Prom 2009 :)

Me and Brandon

Me and Nikki <3

Me and Sarah (nikki's twin) <3

Me and my adopted brother josh

Our insane little group hmmmm why aren't the guys looking?

and we get chase and brandon to look where is uhm josh's face????

My cake was as big as my face!!!

All ready to go :)

NO!

Okay so today was my first day of star testing. And like we have to ask to go to the bathroom. So I was walking out and wanted to double check if it was ok and yes this is what I asked. "Can I go POTTY?" What the heck did I seriously ask my teacher if I could go POTTY!? I think I have spent to much time with the kids at church......OY..........

Summer, Where Are You!?

I am well aware that summer is only 6 weeks away, but somehow it seems as if those six weeks will never come. There is one thing that I am not looking forward to and that would be the separation of all my school friends. I have no idea how to survive without them!! Could this be God's way of bringing me closer to my youth group? I guess that is possible, seeing that nearly two months ago I came very close to leaving my church. Anyways, I think somehow I will survive without those stellar people it's just gonna be weird ;). There are so many things about summer that I am so psyched up about to sit here and list them all may take f-o-r-e-v-e-r. So I will only list a few extremely important one's ;).

1. Long Nights
2. Taking walks in the summer night heat
3. Swimming
4. Church Picnics
5. VBS
6. Ireland Fundraisers
7. Ireland Trip
8. HC
9. Pure Passion 09 :)
10. Relaxing
11. No school (not even summer school this year)

What I Love

• I love Jenna! (I mean seriously who doesn't?)
• I love cake (preferably my Mommy's)
• The dodgers ( yes I am well aware of how odd that is)
• My youth group
• Hats (yes I know I don't wear them)
• Bows
• Spiderman
• Photobucket ;)
• Music
• IM's
• SKOR =D
• Gummy Bears
• PB&J's with Justine and Siaira ;)
• Driving, I don't care where or for how long I just love it. Mostly being a passenger though.
• Concerts
• Being lost with my best friends :)
• Swimming for countless hours
• Taking random pictures

Performances make me crazy :). I don't have much to say at the moment. I am not to sure why :). I think I'm just pondering a lot. Not to sure really. I can say one thing, life is good. It's only that way when you let God take control of it though. Wow such a life lesson ;). Anyways, please lift up the Catrons, Aaron's family, and the Shubins in prayer. Thanks guys

I Love You All

Love Ayana <3>

Off to Prom :)

Getting ready for prom than I am off to dinner at 5 pm :) SO EXCITED :)

Love Ayana <3

YES!

Why when people are crying and you give them a hug, they cry more?-Me
I don't know but it's so true!!-My Mom
Like how they always give you water when your crying?-Me
Yup, I don't know what it is but it always changes things with kids who are crying in the office-My Mom
I swear she is so so so smart the most wisest wonderful women I know! I love her and I would post a picture of her but she's anti pictures on the Internet ;)
Love you Mommy

Me and Nikki Rockin the entire drive :)

Culture Shock

Here I am again. I am home. Far away from everything that I worked so hard for in the past nine months. You see I have been planning (along with 37 other people) for my trip to San Fransisco for nine months. So at this moment it is simply awkward to know that the trip came and went SO fast. It was the best mission trip I have ever been on. I truly left my heart with people, knowing their status of rejection. I can without a doubt say I want to go back (possibly a long term thing in the future?). Anyways, coming home I dealt with some major culture shock. I know that sounds weird seeing that it wasn't a different country. But here is my problem as well as the problem of most of my team members. We are now dealing with "spiritual" culture shock. We have gone from a place where we were surrounded by 37 other believers who are all our age to being alone to fight our battles. From daily worship, devotions, and fellowship with some of the most amazing people to having to support ourselves alone. It hurts and it's hard. We are raging war with the devil and it's scary. I don't want to loose the high, the passion, or the fellowship........it's just so difficult.

My amazing car at 5 am after we started the drive (I hope that explains why we look so adorkable).

Hilarious Moment!

We had a lot of those on our trip to San Fran ( I haven't posted many pictures because I am using them for the video). However, one of my favorite moments happened during dinner Saturday night at the refinery. Steph got a text from someone she didn't know and I decided to call the number for her.

(1st call)

Hello- Random Guy

HI!- Me

Who is this-Me

Is this not Nicole-Random Guy

Uhm noooo-Me

Oh sorry, I was trying to tell someone I was home from the Marines- Random Guy

It's all good boyfriend!- Me

END OF CALL

You should have asked him if he wanted a DVD-Taylor

*squeals* give me that back!!-Me

(2nd Call)

Hi, I forgot to ask you if you wanted a dvd-me

A WHAT-Random Guy

A DVD-Me

A WHAT? I CAN'T FREAKIN HEAR YOU- Random Guy

Hang on, A DVD!?-Me

UHM NO!- RG

Are you sure?

MHM-RG

I can send it by mail, email, or even a pigeon!?-Me

NO I AM FINE- RG

Okay fine!! BYEE!-Me

(btw jess and I look stunning and josh looks well uhm JOSHIE!)

HOME!

(Me and Zach at the Golden Gate Bridge)
I am home now, however I wish I was still in SAN FRANSISCO!! It's killing me!! A few words: amazing, life changing, beautiful and difficult. :) GOD IS SOOOOO GOOD!

Goodbye

Here I go again! On the road, I feel like I just need to debrief before I head out than I realize it has been a "debriefing week". Anyways, I feel so blessed to be heading back out onto the missions field. I think it will be a good thing. After Donna passed God called me home for awhile and I haven't been back since October 2008. I am hoping this brings some healing for me as I am leaving on Donna's six month anniversary. So I intended on doing a huge video blog thing but it never happened. Bobby came over and I did another fun photo shoot and than finished my packing. Well, this is goodbye! God Bless and I will see you all soon!!
Love Ayana :)

30 hours :)

In 30 hours I will be well on my way to San Fransisco!

"I have but one candle of life to burn, and I would rather burn it out in a land filled with darkness than in a land flooded with light"- John Falconer

Wow sooooo profound for where I am, gotta hold on to that!!

(Yea I pretty much think that picture is BOMB :)!

Easter Was Sweet :)

Easter this year was awesome!!!! We went to church as a family and than came home for lunch/dinner. Church was just way awesome, a few people super close to me gave their life to Jesus (party!!). My grandma and step-grandpa were here visiting and took time out of their morning to go to church as well =D. When we came home from church I took an unintentional nap. I needed it though, lately I have been super tired and it gave me some rest. Sunday was a bit of a battle for me as I fought some major spiritual warfare, I won't go into detail cause it's much to hard to explain. God was good however and pulled me out of it when I turned to him. I have been working on some stuff for my mom for mothers day and needed individual pictures of the kids. So I took them outside in the garden and got some great shots. I have to say it was pretty intense and interesting. I got to see some side's of my own brothers and sisters I didn't know existed. At times I feel that I am missing parts of their life's because I am absent so often. The best part of my day was hearing the news of how well Jesse was and having time to reflect on Jesus's death and resurrection.

Here's a sorta "update" on where I am right now. I am headed out to San Fransisco in a day and a half. No worries I am not counting the hours too. I am super excited though and can not wait to get there and see what the Lord does. When I get home I will head straight into more preparation for Ireland :). Than prom is coming up in about a week! I still don't have a dress YIKES! I am trying to get that all straightened out before I leave. If I don't I will simply retreat to jeans and a sweatshirt (not to sure how well that will go over). Moving on, the rest of my April is pretty much packed with prom, Ireland and rehearsal!! I am going to be one tired homie! Well that is about it! I guess I will blog tomorrow with some final thoughts and prayer points before I head outta here.
Love You All!!!!
-Still Serving Jehova Rapha

I understand!

Some time ago (technically six months ago), my close friend was taken home. Most of you know that, it is no secret. Well what most of you don't know is that the death I experienced changed my life forever. It was one of the most difficult deaths I went through. But I will save that story for another day ;). Anyways, I was writing the post to explain that I finally understand the depths of what it did to me. I was never happy and seriously didn't think I could carry on. I wish to not make this so wordy so I will end by addressing my close friends who walked this hard road with me. I realized today the depths of what I went through when Donna passed and I would like to acknowledge the fact that I went into a mild state of depression. I hope that all of you (you know who you are) understand that I am beyond thankful that you stuck by me when I was at one of the lowest points in my life. God truly used you to keep me going. I suppose this is also an apology for how severe and unhealthy I got. It was never my intention to into a state of depression but I can only say thanks soooo much for being there. God used you all mightily and I wish that you know that.
Thank You All!
God Bless, Love Ayana

He Is Risen!!!

"I know you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He isn’t here! He has been raised from the dead, just as he said would happen. Come, see where his body was lying."
Matthew 28:5-6

I dislike title's

“You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith.”

Good quote for being so close to San Francisco!! I am stoked!!!

Anyways, enjoy today's picture and please just take time to ponder the words of that quote.

God Bless!!

Mexico October 08

I found this and thought it was sweet. Felt led to share it, makes me miss those kids so much.
Much Love Ayana <3

Uh-OH!!!

This excitement is so overtaking, like seriously that is all I can think about. Just saying my mind is in San Fran at the moment!! Not here where it needs to be for the next 5 days. So I guess a few choice people ahem cough Zach, Jenn, and josh cough are going to have to deal with my excitement for awhile ;). YUP!! Okay and by the way I wanted to congratulate and welcome Jesse home for Easter. Okay, I am no even close to being done here. I also want to welcome Josh back home (yea he's back yayyyyyy). Emily, congratulations on your new role you uhm pretty much rock it!!!! And yea here's the last one, welcome home to Jessica and her husband (we are glad you are home from war).

Now for the picture of the day ;)
DA da da deeeee

I'm gonna die for putting this picture up but come on!!! Seriously, I miss seventh grade. Yes that was one, two, three, four years ago ;)

Panic Mode!!

Aight, I have officially gone into complete panic mode!! It's kinda intense but super exciting at the same time. I have so much going on from here until I get BACK from Ireland!! Which totally bombs but at the same time I am growing tired already. However, I feel like it's that good tired cause it's all for God. Anyways I will be posting more as time comes I have a busy up coming week and weekend so it could be awhile. Anyways, my team as well as myself simply ask for your continued prayers as we come together and fight the battles that lie before us.
With Much Love
Ayana <3
"The heart of God loves a persevering worshipper who, though overwhelmed by many troubles, is overwhelmed even more by the beauty of God."

Oy!

In my attempt to blog more photo's, I found these for today =D. I don't know that I really want to comment on the first one so I am gonna stay silent. However the second one........ I love that girl like insanely much! She is amazing and one of my closest friends!! Mack your the best thanks so much for everything!!

A Couple Things :)

Hey Guys!
It's been uber crazy here and I have been to busy to post any "updates" on my life. Prep work for my missions trip to San Francisco has really consumed me. However, I am super psyched :). On the mission's note of things we had our first Ireland meeting on Sunday and um well I can't contain my excitement.....at all! We started planning our fundraisers and I am pretty much leaving the financial state in God's hands :).

Things are going better here at home. We are all staying strong right now as our prayers are with both of our family members. My Aunt and cousin are doing the same as before, for the most part. We are just seeking the Lords will and staying close to him. To God be the glory, he is still on his throne.

Lastly our team leaves for San Fran in exactly eight days! We are so excited to see what God is going to do there. A few specific prayer requests:
For a safe drive to and from
That God will use our dramas and us!
That we will stay safe and ultimately that God receives Glory for everything.
Also that the unity of our team remains into the trip and even afterwards.
My team thanks you all for your prayers, we are defiantly living on them!
Thanks So Much Guys
Much Love Ayana <3

Thank You!!

Thank You God, for bringing her stateside! It has blessed my heart so much knowing she is here and safe. I also thank you that you have kept her safe for a whole year in the middle of a war. I love her so much and she means the world to me. Thanks! Amen.

WELCOME HOME JESS! <3

Issy

Seriously, Issy is the bestt! We pretty much rocked the streets of D.C.!!

Answers

During church today, I finally got the answer I had been searching for. The funniest thing was that the answer didn't even come from the sermon but more from our small group questions. The question asked if we thought that as Christians we have more or less trials than unbelievers and why. I don't know how or why but for the first time (when it came to this subject) I had like a light bulb moment. It occurred to me that we do have more trials than unbeliever's for one simple reason they are not fighting against the devil! We are! The Bible says that if we are for God we are against the devil. Besides that fact that our trials make us who we are, it only makes sense that we would face that because we are raging war daily against the evil one. Anyways, I don't know why but that really hit home for me. Sorry if your still trying to figure out what I just said.

In His Beautiful Grace

~Ayana~

What Suicide Has Taught Me

Earlier this week, I did an in depth research of suicide/depression. Quite a few things hit home for me, as horrible memories came back. They seemed fresh in my brain as the feelings of confusion, regret, and grief returned. You see just last May my 18 year old cousin committed suicide. No, we weren't very close but for me a million different feelings crossed me when he passed. First, I was saddened and than as reality set in regret did. I never had the opportunity to tell him about my Jesus. Of course I never really did see him but than I wondered if maybe my simple attitude could have been better. Than the grieving came as I saw a lifeless young body laying there. It was hard seeing him dead and knowing the path he chose to take. I may never understand the reason my cousin took his life and I may never understand why he couldn't work through his problems. However, through my recent studies (all for Health class) and his death I have learned a valuable lesson. Our problems are never to big for Jesus to handle! He sticks people into our lives as well as organizations to help walk us through those difficult things. He never wants us to take our life as Judas did in the Bible. I also came into an understand of how important and sweet life is. It can only be sweet if we are committed into the hands of our creator. Just felt compelled to share that......
Much Love
Ayana <3

True Devotion

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qakflo_kMc

I swear that is true love and devotion my friends! When you sing your heart out at your last concert, as your vocal cords are literally dying!!

Agh!

I MISS YOU!!!!!!!!!

3 Things

Three Names I have been called:
1~ Ayana
2~ Ari
3~ Noni
Three Jobs I have had :
1~ Nani
2~ Janitorial
3~ Childcare
Three TV Shows that I watch:
1~ Medium
2~ ER
3~ Without a Trace
Places I've Been:
1~ Mexico
2~New York
3~ Arizona
People that e-mail me regularly:
1~ Emily Lomenzo
2~ Supaman
3~ Weird random people from school
Three of my favorite foods:.
1. Shrimp
2. Cornflake Chicken
3. Taco Ring
Three things I'm looking forward to:
1~ Bye Bye Birdie!!
2~San Fran
3~ Ireland

My Best Friend!

I swear we are stinkin trouble! Seriously, I think Mr.Koff got tired of the two of us together....I am surprised he never separated us! It would have been the smartest decision he's made. Anyways, if you ever want to have LOTS of fun, you just call Josh and I cause uh we pretty much Bomb!!!

Love u Crazyyyy