New Journey Part 2

I thought I would share this, I made it today and It's helping a lot. It makes me feel closer to Donna :) <3

New Journey Part 1

This is a new series I am going to start writing in regards to the new journey I am going to walk without my dear friend and how I am handling things. Each part of this is going to be very difficult for me to write and you to read. But I find it severely important for everyone to see God's grace and peace through the difficult times. So here we go!!!!!



Part 1:

Here i sit wondering how I'm supposed to make it without Donna! I know that may sound blunt but I'm not going to hide my feelings. I have had my ups and downs since her death 2 weeks ago. However, the pain is still the same and as far as I see it, the part of me that is gone will always be gone. I finally got back into worship which was a huge step for me. It hurt like crazy! I won't lie it was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I ended up in tears as the raw memories came back. I did a pretty good job of staying strong at the memorial. There were two breaking points though. First, during the slide show presentation a picture (which I was in) of the worship team came up. Second, when I saw her son (drew) smile. It is insane he has so much of her face and mannerisms in him. It does bless me though to know that her life can be that close to me still. I love her family to death and the mean the world to me. I had the biggest blessing of all by being able to hang out with her kids and help with the service. I'm gently reminded God has a plan when I get down. There have been a few things that have been extremely hard for me. Worship as I said earlier and just doing the hand motions she made up. Being at church and cleaning :(. Seeing Awana without her. Timothy classes and eating Del Taco. Opening up about my life to other leaders. Lately there has been two things heavy on my heart and I will close with them. Donna made a promise to me before she left of two things: one that next semester I would help her with American girl class and two that she would help me with my ASL classes next semester. Now I'm stuck wondering why God took that away? I know this was straight forward but I want to be serious with everyone. Please pray for guidance as I seek Gods answers to those two things I feel I'm missing. Also pray for Hallelujah night this Friday as it is going to be a difficult first one without her. Love You All and Thanks <3 :).
In Grace and Love
Ayana :)
"Whatever You’re doing inside of me. It feels like chaos, but somehow there’s peace. And it’s hard surrender to what I can’t see, but I’m giving in to something heavenly
Whatever You’re doing inside of meIt feels like chaos, but I believe …You’re up to something bigger than me, Larger than life, something heavenly. Whatever You’re doing inside of meIt feels like chaos, but now I can see. This is something bigger than me. Larger than life, Something heavenly"- Whatever You're Doing by Sanctus Real

Jesus Is Holding Donna!

Dear Friends,

As many of you know at 1:50 on Thursday morning my amazing friend went home to meet her maker. We were told Wednesday night that she may not make it through the night. I had just left youth group when I found out. I was still at church and I broke down. I finally got to bed Wednesday night 50 min before my sweet friend was in the presence of our Jesus. I found out Thursday morning and had mixed emotions of happiness and grief. I am still mourning my loss and rejoicing because heaven is better this day. I am jealous of Donna, she is with my heavenly father. Haley and Sierra are rejoicing as well for their amazing mom. They know she is healed and living in peace with her dear sister. Donna finally met the man who died on the cross for her sins and now she is able to spend everyday with her sister. Things are still difficult. I had an extremely hard time at Timothy school this morning. I thought I would take this moment to share how I met my amazing friend. 5 years ago she became a cm leader with my mom and one of my moms closest friend. From the moment i met her i knew that there was something different about her. She always cared about my life and always listened i am so blessed by her. Than we started doing the summer skits together and we shared so many laughs. Time went on and God continued to let us serve together in vbs and worship. She is a huge part of my worship family. She blessed me with every single smile, hug, prayer, laugh, and luv we shared. Her life means more to me than I could even explain in words. Gods so amazed right now to have Donna by his side. Its funny because I was really dealing with the fact that God didn't heal her and Susan reminded me today that he did heal her. To Donna i miss u sister Dulce ;). But i know we;l meet again, this wasn't goodbye. So until that day I will continue in the example you have left. Thanks for the memories like hamburger safe and steve beverlys grandaughter must have been here ;). I Love you and c ya soon. In conclusion I am so blessed right now to be surrounded by such great people who care and love me. I thank you all for our calls, texts, an support. The out pour of love amazes me. May God Bless You.

Jesus took my sweet friend and Im still in shock i cant even find the words to write this. I decieded to post a link to my other friends post on this. Until I can gather myself this is it, I will write after. I think its pretty well said
Love You All <3 Thanks For Your Outpour Of Love :)
http://contentmentcorner.blogspot.com/

My Friends :)

I was thinking about how amazing each of these people are today! I am going to take a moment to say how individually sweet they are.



Bethany- I love her <3!!!!!!!!.> a short time and I cant thank God enuff for her. Thanks My deary. Thanks for the laughs and helping me to try to persuade Nicky to take us to Wal mart ;). No matter what anyone says your argument was wonderful.

Mary i mean Jenna-

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW! our relationship cracks me up! I NEED SPRINKLES AND KANODE ;) with an e? wow good times. u make me laugh and cry its interesting :). ily ;) hahahahah thxz for stalking kanode on myspace and listenting to my problems. than again im listening to u blab about how sad ur lamp is and how shiloh and kenya have better lamps =O where did that cum from? and your converse from when u were six. i love when we bought a drink from that place in the mall cuz they guy that workd there was hawt. or the time when u saw Kanode and DIED! being cheerleaders with u was fun I ADMIT ya take a picture! okay thanks chica ur da best peace out dog! (do u know that dog?). Love Shrub ahem how do u spell that?

Audrey- I love u babe. thanks for understanding me and coming thru for me. We have had some tough times but we made it thru and i give God the glory for that. Thanks for keeping me company in mehico and watching out for me. It was a scary step at first but u were there. Thanks for being an awesome christian mentor and encouraging me. Lotsa Luv <3>

Issy- I GOT YOUR NOSE! ;) hahah thanks for everything sista youv been more than a best friend. I couldnt even ask for someone like u! U have stuck by me u all the drama and I love u for that. Thanks for bringing sum humor to the east coast. I dont know what I would have done getting back to the bus early without u and ur mom. Stealing mitchs watch was fun hehehe and almost getting kicked out of the bus for our "obnoxious" talking. I think the best part of the trip was our stop at KFC :(. That was insanely GROSS! Thanks chica for putting up with my bro. I love u sunglass girl <3

Revolve Tour Highlights

Here are a few things I learned from my weekend :)


1. 2 million screaming teenage girls are LOUD!

2. Even thou this cool dude Chad is married girls still go nuts. I felt bad for him a few times


3. At an all girls conference theres no such thing as guys bathrooms.

4. Jason Dunn (as hawt as he is) can make any teenage girl scream

5. sleep was not an option

6. girls will be girls ;) many of u know what that means and if u dont im soooooo sorry :( im not going into details

Mexico Moments

The Top Ten Things That Made My Mexico Trip!

1. Showing everyone my gangster dance at carls jr

2. Getting to know the amazing people in my van

3. Staying up late taking photos

4. Playing soccer with the outreach kids at a basketball court

5. Going into the village's

6. Riding the killer bus

7. Eating tacos and ban Luce

8. Working in the children's Ministry on Sunday morning

9. Sharing the awesome laughs

10. When i was in tears and everyone took a moment tooo stop and pray for me :)