TRUST!!

It has been heavy on my heart to share more about my trip, however I have been dealing with "re-entry" and getting back into the swing of my life. I must share that it hasn't been easy and there have been days over the past three weeks that I wanted nothing more than to be back in Dundalk. Don't get me wrong, I have enjoyed being home. But this is all still weird and seems so pointless. Everyday I miss being with the kids, seeing their smiling face's, teaching them the word of God, and showing them the Love of the Lord!!! So has the Lord refined me through the re-entry?? YES!! He's re-teaching me something vital to my life that he taught me in Ireland, TRUST! Trust was a huge theme from the time I started praying for the trip even until now. Beginning from the first meeting for the trip. I sat there with a paper in my hand that indicated the high amount of money I would need, to be apart of the team. I walked out of there and from that moment on I was in a battle to understand the reality of Trusting my Saviour. It continued to be the theme over the next few months before our trip. The time we had a huge payment due and I literally freaked out, it was through that the Lord taught me or started to teach me to trust. Towards the beginning of July when things started getting worse for my Aunt and I had no idea when I would loose her and how it would affect me. Three weeks before we left and the last of our payment was due.. All of those times...God was teaching me to trust and preparing me for an even bigger trust battle than I had ever fought. We left on July 29th and got to Ireland July 30th (yes I spent the night on a plane ;). There came a point in that 15 hour flight that I became home sick. I was scared in all reality to leave my home for 2 weeks and to know that everything was changing while I was gone. I was terrified to think that I could possibly loose my Aunt while I was gone. God started to show me on the plane the depths of the lack of trust I had in our relationship. Heart breaking, I KNOW!!!! It's not like he didn't call me there, provide the ENTIRE way, and take care of everything. He was clearly asking me why at this point, I hadn't realized he was going to take care of me and that I didn't need to fear. I wrestled with the Lord most of the plane ride, to understand how exactly I was to go about this "trust" thing. The moment we touched down in Ireland I felt this peace, a peace that almost whispered "Your right where I want you now GO, faithfully obey, and have fun!" It was really weird, but cool how God worked through that. Being there was also difficult, but only for the first four days. After those days and after I relearned to trust again, I was okay. Than came the sad part for every team member. We left the kids!!!! Of course we left them changed kids because of Jesus power, but we still miss them. Ohhhhhh, what a huge life lesson I learned once again on the plane ride and through this point in time. God is soooo goood, working so hard to keep me in line ;).