For ten years I played christian. Sure there was moments where my relationship with God was steady, but it was just that.... moments! Oh but let me tell you, I had it all together on the outside and unless you were super close to me (only a few were I wasn't hyped on letting people into my life) you would think I was a model christian girl. I was born into the church, one that grew pretty much as fast as I did. I appeared in every church play and I knew every worship song there is. I spent more time at church then my home and knew every person in the church body. I could say the books of the bible in under one minute and I had memorized a wealth of scripture. I could tell you some of the most influential Bible stories without even looking at the Bible. I knew the importance of reading the Bible and prayer and I really did try to do it. I had accepted Jesus into my heart at the age of four and was baptized days before my fifth birthday. It was all my choice, my parents never forced me into anything. But it wasn't until I started Jr high that I begun a small state of rebellion and realized there was something seriously missing in my life. See, I thought I had it all together I had fooled even myself. None of those things
mattered anymore if the one vital part of
Christianity was missing. So i did some major soul searching when I started Jr. High. Unfortunately, my "soul searching" landed me in the middle of a whirl of worldly things. Every time I tried something new I came up empty. I am not going to tell you my testimony again, I think I have done a pretty good job of that. But this is where my story gets to it's craziest and where it seriously hurts me as a person. I am a church leaders daughter. Sometimes I joke and say that I am the next best thing to a Pastors kid. So naturally people expect me to be perfect, okay so maybe not perfect but they expect the best out of me. And to be honest for a good couple years, I did a fantastic job of hiding it. Then things got difficult and I fell and with no faith to fall back on. Don't get me wrong, faith is not something we fall back on but something that should be used 24/7. But just maybe that was my problem, I saw faith as something to fall back on when things weren't going good or wait more like weren't going my way. It's crazy but now that I look back on that time I see how far gone I was and how few people were even aware. Maybe they were aware but too scared to do anything or possibly that facade I created was a perfect one. Either way it really doesn't matter and please understand I am not here to play victim. If I were that I would simply be writing off all the Lord did in my life during that time. I simply here to say one thing: there are those within our own church body who are drowning. We have to reach out to these people and when it appears they are playing church or christian, we must show them Gods love. It would kill me if I died and found out that there was just one person in my life who out of pride I turned a blind eye to and they ended up never coming to God. God desires to use us in the most unique way in situations like these. Don't ever think just because of their parents position in the church or even their position that everything is perfect. We need to be aware and we need to see beyond the surface. This requires a certain amount of faith, work, humility, and love. It is not easy but if it changes one persons life for the kingdom of heaven it will be worth it.
"As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you: continue in my love." --John 15:9
