Hello SB

(This picture has NOTHING to do with this post but it's cute right??)

Hi There :)

This week I am headed out to go camping with my youth group and I am stoked.! The reason I decided to go kinda ties in with the whole reason I am writing this post. Up until July 19th, I had my whole year planned out. I had a show, planning for my sisters leave and then finishing up 11th grade. After that I had to start planning for Ireland. That took 4 months and I was totally consumed with serving God. Then I went! I landed in Ireland and from that moment until the moment I landed back here I was totally consumed with serving. It was the greatest feeling and God did so much in my life. He broke me and re shaped me, it is amazing to think back upon that. But now I have a different emotion running through me and well it isn't the easiest to cope with. Some of you know about re entry and the end of a missions trip. To put it plainly it isn't fun...at all!! Totally worth it but no fun. But this time the re entry was different. I can't get the kids off my mind. I saw so much more heartbreak this year and my heart became even more attached. I couldn't hold back and so yes my heart literally broke when I left. I saw the kids in Gods eyes and his heart for them. I saw a small part of the vision for Ireland fulfilled. But God showed me something on this trip. Something that while I had been praying for an answer I hadn't necessarily been searching for it in Ireland. The answer to this question made my departure that much harder. See I had been literally seeking the Lord on where he wanted me to be a missionary too. I already determined that was my life calling but where had remained unanswered. To be honest part of me didn't want to know, as I was scared to where he would lead. However, my fears were calmed and a peace about the future was present for the past 5 months. God showed me that Ireland was my calling, so to leave was totally hard!! I wish I could say that I don't wake up with a longing for Ireland or even go to bed with it. But that isn't true. The hardest part is it feels as if this longing is here to stay. It hasn't gotten easier in the past three weeks and in some ways it's only got harder. I am grateful for it but it's hard. The first two weeks home was mostly trying to seriously recover. To get laundry done, unpack and try and rest. I was so stinking tired the first week and sick the second week. Then the third week I tried to get back on my feet but I got sick again on Monday. Then I was okay Tuesday and went to an amusement park. While I was there I got hurt on a ride and got a concussion. So that week was shot as all I did was lay in bed with an ice pack. Starting this week off was hard as I was even more confused about my emotions. I felt complacent and bored. I have nothing to do!! So I decided I had nothing to loose and that I'm going to camp with my youth group. I gave myself so much time to plan it out :). Haha nah I totally didn't. Anyways that's what's up right now. I am totally excited to just spent time with friends and Jesus. To relax! Thanks for listening!!

Love Always

Ariana <3