uh yeah

{name 3 colors you love}: red, white, and pink

{would you ever dye your hair any of those colors?} : already went red ;)

{if you could choose one skill to be fantastic at, what would it be?} : being a light in this broken world

{do you like to decorate your room with pictures and other decor?} : theres so many pictures, posters, paintings, and other random chizz


{what was the most shocking moment of your life?} : when my house was on fire


{name three songs you love} : "on and on"- chasen, "lead me" sanctus real, and "lucy "-skillet

{have you ever, quote "danced the night away"?} : uhm prom 2008??

{who's your favorite author?} : people who wrote the Bible

{did you like this tag?} : yes it made me think ;)

{tag any number of people you like, followed by a note of sorts} :
Meredith: i love you girl
Anuty Susan: i know you won't do this

Birthday Dinner

I know this is late seeing that my birthday was over a month ago but anyways... lol enjoy.

Me and my mommy (:

John John

When did my little guy get so big? I miss my nephew soooooooooooooooooooooo much!!!

I just want to say.. i love and miss you

To my dearest friend who i miss greatly.

Two years without you have come and gone yet they feel like eternity. Even as I write this, I cry because I miss your smiling face. I wish I could adequatly express more of how I feel. I can't though. I want to say so long my friend. I love you!

i miss you mere

I tried to make it better with this lovelyness and I feel like it made me miss you more. Remember how we were like hmmmm cute car let's take a pic with it? WE ARE WEIRD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A ramble

These were the days that I waited for that dreadful phone call. When I was scared to move because I knew that in a moment it could all be gone. In a matter of minutes all of the feelings could come back. And they have. They continue to year after year. They haunt me and remind of what once was and the pain that enveloped me. The feelings of wanting to punch a wall. Of wanting to throw my phone across the room. To reply to that text and say "it isn't true". Tell them she's still here. To fight the urge to believe that this is all a dream that one day I will wake up and she will be home. To pretend we have all healed and that our grief has ended. Oh but the lies I live when I force myself to believe she is going to walk in the door. How cold and utterly alone I felt after the news. The shock was to hard for me to cry at first. I just wanted to scream. To blame someone but there wasn't anyone to blame. Life ran it's course and hers came to an end. I remember the crying spurts I had that day. I cried before school. I stopped long enough to put make up on. Then the hugs and "I'm Sorry's" came when I got to school and man did I loose it again. I remember every detail from what I was wearing to how cold it was outside. I remember how hard it was to breathe and how it felt like the air had been sucked out of the room. I remember trembling as I opened the text message and as I read it how I hung my head. All of these memories can feel so distant yet so fresh at the same time. I guess I had to let go to find God in a real way. It all just stinks so much.

Missin Ireland!

I know what your thinking. Missing Ireland again?? It's true, I am!! I feel so far from the people I love. I long to hold the kids in my arms, play football with them and reach them with the love of Christ. I want so badly to have theological conversations with David. Chase Fiachra around DCC and help Eabha with her hair. I want to sing "You Never Let Go" with the Tebbe girls. And play with Lauren and Rebecca. I miss the kids so much! Every day it sinks in and it becomes harder and harder. It's not like they are in the same country as me, there are 5,172 miles between me and them. This is just so hard. Because I seriously love all of them. I long to be there to watch them grow in Christ and encourage them to stay close to the Lord. I don't know the Lords plans for my life after high school but I am pretty sure it has something to do with Ireland..I feel such a strong calling there. I can't get it out of my mind. I have never served anywhere (except my home church) and felt so welcome and so at home. The feeling I get when I serve in Dundalk is the most incredible. It is indescribable. Though the labor is hard there it is so worth it. I desire to devote the rest of my life to winning souls for Jesus in Ireland. God changed my heart immensely in my last trip there. Just a year ago I would have never written anything like this. I did have a heart for Ireland but it was strictly short term. While I was there I just kept feeling God saying "Ariana, you could do this long term". I guess for so long I didn't believe that I had the strength to do it. Now looking back it was simply a lack of faith in my Jesus to get me through. I was leaning on my own understanding. On my own feelings and beliefs on what I wanted for the rest of my life. I don't have the strength to be a missionary long term but with God I do! Because with my God all things are possible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If this is what God wants for me, everything will fall into place. That is super super comforting! Ha! So many life lessons, just another AHHH HAH moment. I am thankful that God is continuing to mold me and break me. I just have never been this grateful to be this close to Jesus. I am grateful for the humility! I am grateful that He's chastening me and changing me. Anyways I talked longer then I wanted but here are a few pics ;)
Love Ariana

How cute!

We told him it was the blarney stone....he believed us....

She tried to stop me....

Gabbs was sad cause she didn't have one.. LOL

They really liked Dea and I

My lil worshipers

A sight that I have prayed and prayed that God would allow to happen

Evan and his long lost Bro!

Me and Christopher this kid broke my heart!1

some thoughts and a heavy heart!

Ahh where to begin? Life is so crazy right now. It's spinning so fast. Sr year is crazy stuff as I prepare for my life. I mean really the rest of my life. The rest of my life begins June 8th of 2011 as I say goodbye to childhood and hello to adulthood. It seems too crazy that I have made it this far. It's just in light of what I went through in HS it's a huge accomplishment to be here now. So much I have to do these days. Job searching, college cover letters, applications for student financial aid, prepping for grad stuff and laying out my college plans. I guess this is the weird transition from childhood to adulthood. It's just so bizarre and so foreign. It's become increasingly difficult to prepare myself for what is to come after graduation. I know June is far off but it will be here before I know it. What's happening on the home front? Well God is breaking me once again and molding me more into his image (always fun!!). I am praying my way into some exciting new ministry stuff. And I am getting good grades!! But boy have things been ever so tough! I feel hard pressed on every side. I don't do well around this time of year as I a slew of emotions regarding death seem to rise up in me. It seems that I have lost so many people between August and December that I don't even have time to remember each one of them. This can be difficult on me because I can't really miss all of them. I don't know, it's just so hard to think straight when 5 people you loved all died in 5 months. I wish I could tell you that I have had an easier time with the deaths but it isn't true. I wish I could say I don't have my moments but that isn't true either. I don't know how long it will be before life feels normal again. This year marks a year since I lost my Aunt and her son. This year marks two years since Donna passed. And 6 years since I lost my Tia and an Uncle. It seems that with 6 years having come and gone that it would be easier but it's not. I still miss them you know? There were so many unanswered questions. So many things I wanted to say but didn't have the last chance. My heart is heavy as I miss the ones i deeply love. There is something that I have found that I love these people more today then ever before. I don't know if it's because they are gone now or because my love for them has simply grown? It's hard to say but I know for sure these are hard times for me. It all happened so fast and so rapid it was hard to handle it all. Now as I work through my emotions and pick up the broken pieces it's painful. These pains have of course brought me so close to Jesus yet it doesn't make it any easier. I guess that's where my head's at right now. I have a heavy heart as I grieve once again the loss of those I love. Sure I grieve quite often but this time of the year always makes it especially hard on me. I have to just keep focused on God and pray for some sort of comfort. When God chooses the painful process will become easier. 

-Love Ariana