11:00 am, Saturday morning on a drive.
The song shackles by Mary Mary comes on and in the quiet of my heart and the car a single thought crosses my mind. The thought that up until now I have pushed away by bringing up something else trying to forget the vivid images and sounds that come to mind. But for some odd reason for the first time since everything I let my mind wonder today. As it did the most incredible memories came back. First her smile and than her hair when it had just started growing back. The times we would get so excited when an inch of hair would grow because it showed signs of a healed body. The way she would say Ayana and the distinct way she led CM worship. Her hugs, her smile, her laugh, and her voice. The memories that I had pushed away for so long in fear of being completely hurt, had flooded my mind within a matter of a few seconds. Everything else around me seemed to drown out. I could no longer hear the song on the radio or recognize where I was. The only thing clear was the memories of Donna and the sound of her voice. And the best part was that for the first time since she passed every single memory made me smile and made heaven seem closer.