God's Call

Its sweet but sometimes very scary and is known as God's call on our life. I have had to face some hard choices lately. Letting go of things that I felt made me who I am. But than God reminded me to trust him and who I am would be found in him. So difficult. The idea of trust has never come natural to me. It takes a lot for someone to earn my trust which can be very unhealthy at times. However I have noticed that it is a good thing when it comes to relationships because I don't just take anyone anymore. It was never that way, but after being hurt by people multiple times. I have found the true beauty of trust sometimes starts within myself. I realized I must trust God ultimately before I can trust others. This my friends is still a work in progress. People don't tend to gain access of any sort to my heart until I fully trust them. Fully trusting someone for me simply means that I know there going to fail here and than but are pretty much solid. God has blessed me with awesome friends who are super solid. Those friends recognize when they fail and apologize. They have never let their failings or mine for that matter come in the way of our friendship. The difficulty of trusting someone is a wonderful characteristic I enjoy about who God made me. But here's where it can get kinda ugly! I know it's something God's working on you know? Still makes it difficult though. My trust stuff tends to become a thing with family members and my heavenly father. Tough I know! Lately (through some hard stuff) God has shown me to simply let go and really really trust him. Throwing my life into his hands and surrender all I have. Trusting him that he knows what he's really doing and that his plan is SO beautiful. Walking away from the things that have made me who I am for so long has been so painful. Finding my image in Jesus is just as hard but so beautiful as he slowly reveals to me exactly who he has made me to be. Daily, finding out things about myself I never knew is so wonderful!! God's call is hard but beautiful when you choose to follow it! Trust is just another roadblock in my ways that I need to get around!
Love Always Ayana <3