WHY!?

Aunt is being called home! That's obvious so many of you have heard by now. I faced my poor Grandpa today something I didn't want to do. He is so strong, but he is ready for a change of phase with this situation.

Second my cousin is dying......I just found out last night...... His sin has brought him to a place of death. Having lost his son to suicide (due to gay struggles) last may, this is so very difficult/

Am I OK? NO! Absolutely not!! Am I myself!? Heck yes! I'm just clinging to God, I don't know how to face this AGAIN! All I can say is I am still gonna praise Jesus because he is still on his throne. Thanks for your prayers, they mean the world. I need to be strong right now.....
Love Ayana