Ohh yea he has humor

Wow God is just so funny! You know I think if he didn't have humor and we weren't created with the ability to laugh along, life would be miserable. Oh sure at first it kinda stings but in the end I find myself laughing. It reminds me how well God knows me and he knows my hearts motives. With everything that's going on with my family right now I am in a place where I am ultimately torn. I am torn between helping my family every moment and being exhausted or simply being selfish. I know the right thing to do, its obvious. But at times my heart says I could use this time to do this or that. Basically sitting down right now to write this was a huge chore and now I'm on to a shower? It's the most little situations that irk me and leave me wishing none of this had ever happened. Which brings me to my heart!! I wish this would all go away but than I question whether it's because of the pain my mom is in or me having to suffer a little. Wow talk about humility, hard! Super hard! Too hard to write! The pain and the truth of the yuckiness of my heart is being revealed. The truth is it was hard to sit down and write this however for me I understand myself and know I will feel much better after posting this. I am putting it on a blog that my youth pastor and his wife read and many other leaders and adults at church. Two of my best friends read my blog as well. So anyway you look at this it is yucky and hard. Now onto the part of humility between me and God. I get a random verse sent to my email everyday. Lately they have been super encouraging, which has been nice seeing all the hardships I am walking through right now. Today was different it was one of those verses that left me embarrassed before my Jesus. "We know what real love is because Jesus gave up His life for us. So we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters. "1 John 3:16. Yea talk about humility. WOW! God is good though, I am laughing so hard about that now :). This situation is sure teaching me a lot and making me a stronger person. I have my moments though and those are rough!! It's hard for me to sit back and endure my hardships knowing I am so young and have dealt with so much!! It hurts and I have been in a place where no one gets why I go through these things. I don't understand either but I have a spiritual comfort. I can't define it, I can't explain it, I can't share it with people, and I don't understand it. I just know it's a heavenly comfort for my soul. Anyways, I just wanted to share that and ask for your prayer right now. It's also nice to hear from you, so if you feel like talking please do ;).
Much Love
Ayana <3