It's Over =D

Today is the last day of 2008 and I am pretty stoked about that. It seems weird to look back on my life and who I was at the beginning of this year. It doesn't seem possible how fast things change. If someone told me just 8 months ago that I would be where I am today, I would have denied it. I won't sit here and say 2008 was the best year or the worst. It was defiantly a growing year. I changed so much as I endured through some of the craziest stuff. I sit here in awe today that God was so faithful to bring me out of the trials and to walk through the valley of the shadow of death with me. It seems easier to write than to digest the thought that God felt every hurt and every sting of pain that I did. On top of everyone else in the world he choose to feel my hurts and take on the pain that I did in 2008. There were times that giving up seemed the best route for me and during those days God didn't give up on me. Instead he sent some of the most amazing people in my life to help lift up my head. They helped me see the light at the end of the tunnel and I thank God daily for sending those people who really cared for me. I am here today having lost a great deal of friends but gained so many. For each death I experienced this year a baby was born. Three within my church family and one within my family. I am beyond blessed to be here today although it has been hard and trying. I won't say that everything that happened to me this year brought a smile to my face but much of it did. Nevertheless this year has been legit even through the rough spots. I am stoked to see what God does with me in 2009 as some of his wonderful plans are already starting to unfold.
May God Bless You In 2009
Love Ariana

Jess's Farewell Video :)

Make sure and pause my playlist =D

Farewell Best Friend!!

Dear Jessica,
They say time flies and it's so true!!!!! It doesn't seem possible that your so far away from me now!! Ohio sucks for taking my best friend. But i know God has extreme and amazing plans for your life. I am so sad you have moved away!! Whose gonna tie my shoes when I am to lazy to do it myself?? ;) Who is going to rub Jbears hair with me now? Or run in the snow at camp attempting to stay dry (even though Jbear left us alone). Now I'll never remember the lyrics to "You Never Let Go"!! Or be able to rationally explain why "Sweetly Broken" is now "At the Cross". Dude your the best!! I Miss You SO Much!! No worries though I can just stalk Evan Wickham alooooooone! I can handle the gangsta rap too! I'll do it for you and videotape it!! You can sit there in your huge Ohio house and laugh it up. Because truth is it was supposed to be a gangsta WALK!! Or maybe I can chase you with cake and rub it in your face (yeah yeah that was epic)! Now every time you see a shower cap your going to think of me, however for the sake of my dignity I won't go into detail here! Just imagine and flash back to your 14th birthday party. Next time you come back home we will do a random search for Mark (the fox guy) and we will get his last name out of him. Anyways, I am so going to stop here before I bring up something I will really regret. So I will end by saying thanks for always being a good friend and never leaving me. You were there through a lot and I am thankful! You never stopped listening to me ramble about well whatever that is I talk about ;). You got me when I didn't even get myself *laughs*!! Oh friend it has been a long, fun, and joyous friendship and I am glad no matter what we will always be friends! May God bless you gf as you walk this new journey of your life. Always remember I will always be here for you.
I Love You and I hope to see you soon.
Love Always Ayana<3

Thank You Jesus!!

There are many things this beautiful day that bring a smile to my face and a thankful heart. One special reason is that my uncle Emac is still alive. Earlier this week Emac was driving home from a gig and was really tired. He started to nod off and his car veered off unto the gravel area of the freeway. It awoke him immediately as his car spun leaving him facing the oncoming traffic. Thankfully because it was so late at night there wasn't anyone on the freeway. He was able to turn the car backaround and get back on the freeway without being hurt.
Thank you Jesus for protecting my Uncle.
Giving God The Glory,
Ayana <3

Merry Christmas

I have sat here today trying to find a way to adequately express my feelings. Sure this is a tight holiday because of it's real meaning, but today there is much sorrow with much joy attached. Weird I know!!! For most this is a joyous holiday and for other's not so much. Last Christmas around this time to be exact I was enjoying the company of Donna Thompson. Now I sit here miles away from my dear friend. I read Greg Laurie's blog this morning seeing that he is dealing with the same thing I am. He stated that sometimes heaven seems so close while others it seems as distant as possible. It's so true!! When I want her back is when it seems so distant. Than when I think of her beautiful face it seems so close. Plainly, IT STINKS. I am rejoicing constantly for her but not a day goes by that I don't mourn MY loss. Donna's passing was her gain my loss. Still there is Joy for me as I know it was simply God's will. I guess I say all this to lead up to my point that life is precious!! Just one year ago today Donna was with me and doing great. Now one year later she is in heaven and the coolest thing......she is STILL doing great. Greg said it best but in my own words don't let your loved ones be friends or family go on not knowing how much they are loved. This life is real and we only get one shot at it, don't regret it when it one day flashes before your eyes. Merry Christmas and May We Always Stay Focused On Jesus's Birth!!
In Grace and Love
Ayana <3

2 Additions

I wanted to add that in 2008 we added 2 new family members :).

Sarah and E-mac Lizardo brought us:

Nathan Lizardo :)

Than Denielle (my sister) got married to Paul :) giving us an awesome brother in law.

I am so happy to have both of these people in my family. I love you both and can't wait to see what the Lord does in our lives.

God Bless :)

Best Gift This Year....

Yes the gift of Jesus is by far my favorite Christmas gift and I get it everyday what JOY!!! But this year I received a gift that above anything else I have gotten or will get is my favorite. No other material gift could compare to this. One of my friends from the CM worship team bought me this and I proudly wear it everyday:

It may be hard to see but in the 2 fishes and cross there are tiny MUSTARD SEED'S. Than there is the other pendant which reads "The kingdom of heaven is like to a grain of mustard seed

which a man took and sowed in his field". The reason this is may favorite gift this year is because Donna always had faith the size of a mustard seed. She made it known to the world that if she had faith just that size God would bless and bring her through. The greatest thing about her faith and assurance was God did exactly what he said he would. She believed and God followed through. May this be an encouragement to you that if you can have faith that small God can move mountains in your life as he did in Donna's.

God Bless and May you have FAITH and BELIEVE always

Love Ayana <3

Heyyyyy :)

It's been a few days but it feels like decades ;). Christmas week is just always super busy at my house. Between the ccea potluck, church, preparing for family, and just getting ready we have been pretty busy. I like it though sure it's stressful but I love it. The potluck was amazing!! I was okay for the most part :). I handled it all well but only by God's strength. Debra told me right before we started to remember who I am doing it for and not who helped me get there. So encouraging!! Of course I kept Donna on the front of my mind but it all brought a smile to my face, as the song played and memories of her replayed in my mind. Wooooohoooooo =D. Jess is leaving in less than a week :(. Not handling that all to well, but I know God has a plan. I will try to post a slideshow or something for her later. It's hard to believe 15 years into our lives were being seperated. It's great to be able to talk about all this on here cause I don't like talking about it in person.
Thanks for listening Love Yah <3

Revolving Ministry ;)

As some of you know I served in the children's ministry at my church for 6 years. Last year around June God told me it was time to leave. I was somewhat excited about this =p. Not for long though he had more plans for me and this ministry. I served tonight because we were short handed and I made a decision. I was starting to feel guilty for not serving anymore and decieded it was "time". So yes I'm back :). Not where I was serving before (AWANA was not God's plan :). I really enjoy Saturday nights at church and am way excited to see what God does in my new ministry.
Love Ayana :)

urgent prayer request

I don't even have the words to speak at the moment. My aunt who has Sarcoma (a form of cancer) isn't doing good and we don't think she is going to make it. She is my great aunt and our family needs prayer. I am relatively close with her and I can't imagine losing her. Please pray for our family as most of them are not christians. She is a solid christian :) thank God!! So please pray for peace and healing IF IT'S GOD'S WILL!! We only want it if it's God's will. Medically Docters don't think she will make it. Sarcoma is a type of cancer that once it leaves still comes back.
Thanks everyone I LOVE U
God Bless!!
In Grace and Love
Ayana

2008 In Review

I sit here writing this in complete awe of 2008. It has defiantly been a year filled with excitement, laughter, tears, and new adventures.
Jan-May
In January I started my first semester of theatre arts at my HS =D and it become my favorite class. Than in February I went for the first time to camp with my youth group. It was a beautiful trip full of snow, new friendships, refreshing old ones, and surrender to God. I grew so much in the Lord at that camp and gave so many things that were pulling me down up to him. March was fantastic as I had yet another opportunity to take a missions trip to Mexico. It was one of the coolest trips down there. March and April continued with much devotion to my performance for theater class titled "Broadway Rocks". Also in April I attended prom at school (my first dance). May approached fast and It was a difficult month. My freshman year was coming to an end and I was working overtime to finish with good grades. Than two weeks before school end my 18 year old cousin passed away. It was difficult for me on many levels. Around four days after his passing, one of my Pastor's wife passed away. I was grieving very heavily by this time. May ended on much of a sadder and more difficult note for me.
June-August
June started off pleasantly as I starred in "Broadway Rocks". It was such a pleasure and privilege to be in this production. June was filled with many trips to the pool, a purity conference, time with friends, and yes my second job. July came quicker than any of us here at CCEA expected and once again it was time for VBS. I felt the Lord's calling on worship and joined the VBS "super group" (don't ask!!). VBS as usual although tiring was the best part of my summer by far. I was ready for a whole new week after it was all over. In August I got asked to be a counselor for the Harvest Crusade which I said yes to. I went to down on the field to counsel and ended up leaving everything I was dealing with personally there. Huge weight lifted off of my shoulders and a BEAUTIFUL experience. Summer ended with a couple of pool party's and time with friends.
September- December
Oh to wrap up the hardest yet amazing four months of my life. I got baptized for the second time now that I am older. It was so wonderful to be baptized by my two youth pastors, what a joy! I turned 15 and was overjoyed about it, ask anyone =D. Things started to become increasingly difficult in September and I started having a hard time being motivated. My close friend was battling cancer and for the first time in my life I had to deal with it. On October 16th 2008, Donna went home to meet her maker. It was a hard road for me as I tried to grasp this idea. Two days into my mourning another cousin (from the same side as before) passed away from cancer as well. As you probably understand these past few months have brought me to my knees in tears begging my Jesus for comfort. God is good though and he granted me peace. Now I face another hard tribulation as I watch my best friend since Kindergarten move away.

Yes it has been a difficult and long hard year. However, it has also been joyous and beautiful. I am ever so grateful for this year and the difficulties it has brought. I love you all and May God Bless you in 2009.
In Love and Grace
Ayana <3

Understanding

I prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed for direction with the church's Christmas potluck and I have an answer. I am not all that sure it was the answer I was looking for but I am positive it is God's will =D. I asked God clearly that he would show me if I need to be leading the kids or not. It became apparent one night probably around one in the morning as I was on my knees in deep prayer!! He showed me that this was part of the healing process and I needed to obey him. I know it will be somewhat difficult but it's life and mourning is all apart of it. I have slowly taken the time to listen to Offering and just let out my tears. It's been great and I have so much excitement and joy for the potluck. I want to do my job as a CM worship leader. I love Donna and know she would want me to carry on and keep praising my Jesus.
Glory to God for his love and direction
Love Ayana

Found these.....

15th birthday party people oh yah talk about fun!! ;)

Giving Thanks Day 30

I am thankful for many things today :) here we go
My parents: I love them so much I can't thank them enough for all they do!! Bubbles: my oldest bro i love him so much. Denielle: I miss my sista she needs to come home i luv her infinity ;). Paul: I am thankful for the newest addition to our family :) I am glad to call you bro-in law. Topher: I am so thankful for this kid we may fight a lot but its all good. Zahya: He brightens up my day and I love him. Betso: I enjoy sharing my room with you and I am thankful for your life. Lele: What to say to show my love and thankfulness for this girl?? Shes is by far the smartest baby. Clay: He is like my brother and I am so thankful for him he's given so much to help keep me strong and be a good friend. He's watch me go through a lot and although it's been hard he never left me :). Zach: or zacheus hahaha he is also like my bro ;). I am so glad to call him friend. I am thankful that he never left me either through the hard times. He's also very encouraging and that is something that makes me so happy =D. All of my friends who have dedicated so much of themselves to me :). Above all I am thankful God forgave my sins and showed me grace. I am also thankful he accepted me and took me in to be his child =D

The Love Of My Life

He's most definitely also the joy of my life. He always brings a smile to my face and makes me happy when I hold his precious little life in my arms. Nathan who just turned three months old is my littlest and favorite cousin shhhhhhhhhhhhh ;). I was like idk 2 doors down when he was born and I feel so privileged. It was so different this time around when someone close to me had a baby. It was the first time I was old enough to help with him and really appreciate it. Sure I helped with Boo and Heeb's but this was different I really got to be apart of his life in an incredible way. I thank his wonderful parents (my aunt and uncle) for sharing Nana's little with me :). Below are some pic's of my wonderful prince Nathan.

I love you baby :) <3

Giving Thanks Day 26-29

Day 26: Britt i love ya sissy :)

Day 27: Ali :) and her loving friendship

Day 28: My new friend Morgs :)

Day 29: My Grandpa Tom ;)

Happy 2 Months =D

Today Donna is celebrating 2 months in heaven :). I just wanted to wish her a happy anniversary. This makes a whole 2 months with no pain from her cancer. Hopefully you and Jesus are dancing (okay so your probably not wearing a bandanna and orange vest). I love you my friend and hope you are having the time of your life ;) not that I have much to worry about :).

PS: I am still picking up hot pink feathers......... Steve's grandaughter is making a mess =D

Dear Friend,

I just wanted to say I miss you so very much. I wish my clothes were as white and sparkly as yours! I wish my streets were paved with Gold, I am so jealous dear friend. I wish I was at that big reunion your having right now. I wish I was by your side singing "Wonderful Maker". I wish I was helping you take care of the beautiful children up there. I wish I could here your voice say "Ayana" one more time. I wish I could hug your cancer free body. I wish I could tell you how much you mean to me. I wish I could ask you a million and one questions. I wish I could tell you that I love you more than you would ever know. But as for now I am stuck here and your up there. So I am gonna have to settle and just be patient. I can do that now though becuase I know you are healed and that your smile is no longer forced. I love you sweet friend and I am patiently waiting until God brings us together again.
Love Your Little Ayana <3

The Joys Of Being.....

SHORT!!
So today was a very very long day at the E.R., we went at 12 this afternoon and got out around 6 tonight. All the time was spent in a room (room 43 to be exact) waiting for Bett's blood work to come back and her to "drink" her ivy. After about 45 minutes of us being there Bett got really thirsty. My mom just stared at me and I was like what do I do?? She was all find a drinking fountain!! Simple yet not so simple task, I couldn't find just ONE! So I was all uh Bett?? and she just kept moaning for water. My mom was like oh hey there's water in the car, go out and get some. So at our hospital they have Valet parking so I took my ticket and asked "may I have the keys to my car". They guy at the valet was totally joking but was like uh your not old enough to drive!! I said nah it's not my car and actually I am old enough to drive. I promise I have never seen such a shocked look on someones face before. He was like uh nooooo and I was like yes yes I am. He didn't believe me!! He told me I didn't look like I was 15 and that I'm scaring him. Yep!! That was my day getting carded for being an under age driver............. and I wasn't even driving. Oh well I can see where the rest of my driving career is going =p.
-Love Ayana :)

For Joshie and Morgs <3

Okay so I love these two and thought I'd write about how I met both of them =D. Josh's is a little longer than Morgs cause I have known him longer *laughs* ;).



Morgs: I met Morgs 3 weeks ago in MY biology class. She was taking pictures for the yearbook and I called her over to my lab table. I was like hey Morgan I'm Ayana and I really really really wanted to meet you. She was all awwwwwwwwwwww :). Yup and the rest is history =D. However, I will comment on why I randomly called her name in class. I have known of Morgs since I first started attending my HS. I convinced myself I would meet her as soon as possible. It would have been way to awkward any other times, but that day in Bio was perfect. I didn't know much about Morgs but I knew 3 things for sure. 1: she's a solid christian, 2: she loves to laugh, and 3: I wanted so desperately to be her friend. I would and did anything =D it was comical but priceless. I love ya Morgs



Joshie: Oh dear friend do we have a story to tell the lovely people reading my blog?? Here we go home's here we go. I joined theatre arts 1 spring semester of my freshman year (my life has officially changed since that day). I only knew a few people my first day and was slightly nervous. Ali helped me the first day and kinda pointed people out. After that day before the next week Josh and I met over the Internet (the way any good student at our school meets except me and Morgs cause it was special). Anyways, we met over the Internet and it took two weeks before we met in person due to technical difficulties ;). I have something to admit (josh only knows part of this). But the first time I met him i was instantly "in love". Skipping and moving on ;). Josh and I had our ups and downs throughout our relationship. I messed with his head to much and yeah yeah Josh messed with mine. Just another one of our friendship quirks that doesn't make sense!! I have gone through some stellar stuff lately and Josh has always been there for me. He listened to me cry, talked about my loved one's death, and been there to tell me everything was Gods will. It's almost been a year and though it's been a hard, weird, crazy, and chaotic. It's been way awesome!! Thanks Mr. Miller for the laughs and hugs. U the best supa Josh!! (catch that new nick name!! ;0)

Theatre Arts 2 Issues ;)

So I took note today of some of out theatre arts class issues. We just have a few minor ones that can be taken care of easily.

1. We are all so crazy. One person says something funny and we all burst into laughter its horrible!! I mean I like it however we really need to learn to contain ourselves.



2. I have an issue with a certain scene, where I am supposed to tell Matt with attitude my line. See the problem is Josh Miller: http://www.theocjosh.com/ ( did I embarrass you???) stands next to Matt and has a tendency to make me laugh. We could be as serious as possible and I still laugh. So i guess I need to work on that.......so I don't bust at the actual performance...... :)



3. The fairy group (aka my group =p) needs HELP!



Amazing things about theatre class



1. The sense of family we all have ;) *ariana where are my pretzels*- jessica *looks down at her hands*- ariana *ARIANA*- jessica *sorry there soooo good I forgot they are yours*- ariana ;) yahhhh yahhhh i steal peoples food



2. Being able to hang out and be accepted by everyone. :)

3. Laughing, Laughing, and Laughing...........Hysterically...............

4. Having Mr. Koff as a teacher

5. The energy on set........... its awesome........ keeps you going.... gives you something to laugh about.................... its great =DDDDD

Giving Thanks Day 23-25

Day 23:
my sweatshirt collection:)

day 24: youth group and the friendships and joy its brought

day 25: my school and the wonderful teachers :)))))

Giving Thanks

Day 20:
i am thankful for all of God's rich blessings upon my life day after day

Day 21: being accepted socially in my youth group even though It's been a hard road

Day 22: the opportunity to be a swimmer :)

Difficult Moments and Choices

Here I am again at square one, just when I think I got it all figured out I fine myself back where I started. I thought I healed from Donna's death and I would be the smiley, bubbly, happy Ayana everyone knows. WOW was I wrong. I learned last night that apparently pride comes before a fall. I wasn't attempting to be prideful, just trying to heal so I was myself again. Don't get me wrong I have done a lot of healing but there is one thing I still can't handle. Not to long ago in a recent post I stated the following: "I finally got back into worship which was a huge step for me. It hurt like crazy! I won't lie it was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I ended up in tears as the raw memories came back". Yes, I lied to myself and I am coming before all of you now telling the truth. Sure I worked up the courage to lead worship for the first time after Donna's passing. However, that was the ONLY time I ever did it after everything happened. I had convinced myself that if I did it once I would be okay. I was but the fact of the matter is I never did it again. I kept telling myself before church each week "you need to lead worship tonight". But when that real opportunity was there, I pushed away as quietly as I could. I knew I wasn't going to be able to face this fear yet (sad truth, I know). Last night I was put in a position that made it nearly impossible to escape. We were short handed in the children's ministry and I didn't want to be at church. The leaders in desperate need asked me to help in the third grade class. I complied and everything was okay until we walked the kids to Court of Praise for worship. We started practice with the kids for the all church Christmas potluck. The worship team ( which I obviously was not a part of last night) did the Mariah Carey song and went on to offering. When the song offering started to play I told myself I wouldn't have a problem with this song. Yet once again I WAS WRONG so wrong :(. I ran out of the COP fighting back the tears, that I so desperately wished would go away. I don't understand how to handle this. I don't know if I will make it through to the potluck. How am I supposed to lead the kids in front of our whole congregation if I am not even strong enough to hear the song?? Lastly, I have no idea if I will ever step foot on that stage again and lead the sweet kids in worship to my saviour. At first I told myself that I needed to continue in worship in Donna's honor. However, at this point the signs are unclear and I have no idea where to step from here. If I make my next step and It's not of God I would be so upset. I need clarity as that is so evident :). Please friends think of me in your prayers as I make to important decisions.
Love Ariana <3

She Did It!!!!!!!!!

Lele did she was the first to break something in our family :). Yes the baby, we have had fractures and sprains but no breaks 0-O so lele did it. We were so proud yesterday, while we were sitting in the ER she was so happy :). Yeah that's my Lele always so happy and I have pictures to prove it. She did so well they put it in a splint and she only cried a little. I think she was just uncomfortable with the doctor putting it there ;). Well we are off to get her beautiful pink cast but I had to tell u the somewhat amazing story.
God Bless
Love Ayana <3

Giving Thanks Day 19

Today I am thankful for my freedom to worship my saviour :)

Giving Thanks Day 18

Today I am thankful for the wonderful Men and Women fighting for my freedom. THANK YOU!!!

Day 17

Today I am thankful for the opportunity to sing on the High School worship team :). It is such an honor and I am beyond privileged.

Day 16

Today I am thankful for Jessica :). She has been a close friend since we were 4 and shes never left me. Come to think of it we have never had any drama!! I am thankful for her role model and support. I will miss you greatly dear and I am so mad at the state of Ohio for taking my close friend.

Thanks Day 15

Today I am thankful for my friend Victor :). He is a great and loving friend. Can't wait to see ya =D

Giving Thanks Days 12-14

Day 12:

I'm thankful for my home =D its wonderfullllll



Day 13:

Lauren Leffler my beeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssssst friend yo! I love her to pieces shes the best!!


Day 14: Brett Stubbe (and his grand old flag). Your an awesome youth leader!! Thanks for the laughs buddy!

Day 11

Today I am thankful for the Richardsons. I couldn't express in words my appreiation and love for them. I am at their house right now for Thanksgiving and their a huge blessing. Love Ya Guys!!

Thanks Day 10

Today I am very thankful for Jon Sarinana :). Tonight at church he was a part of the cardboard testimonies. He got up in front of our whole congregation and held his sign. On the first side it said Gang Member, he then flipped it and it said YOUTH PASTOR!! I was so beyond blessed, shocked, and thankful he took this step. It must have been so very difficult to make that announcement!! I also want to take this moment to say thanks to Jon for EVERYTHING. I am honored to have you as my youth pastor, mentor, and friend. Thank you thank you thank you!! Love you soooooooooo much Jon!
God Bless and I'm PRAYING For You Constantly!

WOW!

I was just reading my sweet friend Linda's blog she is getting evacuated AGAIN! There is potential mudslides near her home from the recent fires. Here I am with a heavy heart again, thankfully they got out safely this time. I just want to notify all of you that even though Linda and her family are going through some hard stuff there is a reason. Ecclesiastes 1:18 says "For In Much Wisdom Is Much Grief, And He Who Increases In Wisdom Increases Sorrow." What a great promise!! Linda is an extraordinary women of God as well as her family. I think the verse explains best where I am trying to get with this.

Second I was listening to my blog playlist as I was doing my school work. I am going through some rough things right now. Doesn't that just make sense ;)? Anyways, the song "Bring The Rain" came on. WOW! This was the part that hit home and encouraged me to press on . "Maybe since my life was changed, long before these rainy days. It’s never really ever crossed my mind to turn my back on you oh Lord. My only shelter from the storms, but instead I draw closer through these times!" Yaup It's so true!! I never understood the people that left God because they didn't feel loved anymore because of the tribulations. OKAY?????? So I just wanted to say that through the difficult times I'm running into the arms of my Jesus. Never looking back, because the Cross is before me the world is behind me!!
Love Ayana

Giving Thanks Day 8-9

Day 8: I want to take this time to say I'm thankful to my wonderful friend Jenna. Jenna I LOVE U! She is always there for me and never gets frustrated when I have issues. And she makes me laugh...........a lot.............. KANODE!!

Day 9: I am very thankful for my friend Josh. I have almost known him a year and it seems like we have been best friends since Kindergarten. We have gone thru some crazy stuff and hes always stuck by my side. I dont understand it half the time but I'm very thankful for him. Im sure he's felt like kiling me plenty of times and I'm thankful he hasn't

Giving Thanks days 5-7

Sorry I had to do this all on one post

Day 5- My youth leaders and for there support

Day 6- That even in the ruff times God provides

Day 7- For my mexico missions team

Thanks Day 3 and 4

Day 3: my lovely friends they rock my world!! idk where i would be without them

Day 4: my acting class and insane classmates who make me smile ily guys <3

Emo Goat

I thought it was very important to write about my emo goat. I don't know how to describe my love for this goat ;). Issy and I were at the naval academy and she bought the goat (there mascot). We were really bored and needed something to make us smile. The goat had long combable (did i just invent a word??) hair. So then we combed its hair to look emo and took pictures of it. I don't know what was wrong with us or if we were even sane but yea yea we did it!! Most of the time when your on a nine day trip with a buncha crazy people you tend loose it!!! I AM AS SERIOUS AS THE SKY!!! Is the sky serious??? Okay nevermind back to topic so yes here is my darling Goat ENJOYYYY!!!! Now you may die!!!!!!! U JUST SAW AN EMO GOAT!!

New Journey- Last Part

This past weekend I came into some knowledge of a few things. One of the important things I realized was that God had done some healing in my life after one month of being without Donna. It goes without saying that I will always miss my friend until I see her again. However, God's shown me some amazing things to bring me to the place of contentment. I know God took her home for a reason and I am confident that he KNOWS what he is doing ;). He has given me a peace that surpasses all understanding and amazing rest from the mourning. I still have the moments every once in awhile when I miss her, but I have done an amazing job of healing. All this to say I have felt the need to close out the series of my new journey. I also find it necessary to state that my new journey has only begun. Thank you for bearing with me during these difficult times and may my testimony be a witness to you all. I encourage you to press on because one day you will see the prize.
To God Be The Glory for getting me through this and making me a strong person.
Love Always Ayana <3>

Thanks Day 2

Day 2:
I am beyond thankful for my wondeful family and there amazing love for me. Each of them are individually amazing and I'm so blessed.

Day 1

I noticed Aunt Tammy is doing this and felt convicted ;). So here I go.

Day 1:
I am thankful for my church and the wonderful guidance it's given me.

woops =p

so i just read that quize i did if u scroll down with like 38 questions. the second to the last question says whose ur least fav teacher and what do they teach. i said mr koff my acting instructor but i THOUGHT it said whos your favoirte. Apaogizies mr koff I LOVE U. So yea my least fave teacher is lmsdkfdsfndjKRISHA KERRkgdnfgjklndkgjkdflgkdl.
Sorry for the miscommunication ima dork =p

we needed a distraction yo

A: Caramel Frappuccino
J: Dr. Pepper


Last time you had a sleep​over?​
A: July
J: Halloween


Lates​t you staye​d up in the past week?​
A: Like 2:30
J: Like 4:30, SCREW YOU EVACUATION!!


What is the last thing​ you said aloud​?​
A: The street was getting evacuated and fed-ex was delivering a package!
J: That was not the last thing you said aloud.

DESCR​IBE YOUR:​

Walle​t?​
A: My school ID
J: PCHS school ID's make everyone look like that they have trashy fake tans. My wallet is zebra striped.

Eyes?​
A: Dewane Syndrome
J: Big brown dear in the headlight-y nearsighted-y organs.

Life?​
A: Comical
J: Tragically amusing

WHAT ARE YOU:

Weari​ng?​
A: you don't want to know
J: she's totally naked:) david bowie t-shirt, jeans, socks

Liste​ning to?
A: I want to live.
J: My carbon monoxide alarm system.


Your favor​ite scent​?​
A: My moms pro cake baking skills
J: Clean clothes.

Do you like seafo​od?​
A: Yes, i love it.
J: No, the smell makes me gagh

Do you remem​ber your dream​s?​
A: Sometimes
J: I try not to.

Do you speak​ anoth​er langu​age other​ than Engli​sh?​
A: No.
J: Mon meilleur ami est stupide

When was the last time you reall​y laugh​ed?​
A: Can I get back to you? July....
J: This morning

When is the last time you took a nap?
A: Like a week ago
J: NAPS ARE FOR LAME PEOPLE....which is probably why i took one yesterday.

Do you belie​ve every​one deser​ves a secon​d chanc​e?​
A: I believe in grace.
J: Depends on the circumstances, but for the most part sure:)

If you could​ work at any cloth​ing store​,​ which​ store​ would​ you pick?​
A: Forever 21
J: Urban Outfitters

Who is the FIRST​ perso​n you thoug​ht of this morni​ng?​
A: I'm not going to go there.
J: Snoop Dogg, I wish I was joking.

What was the FIRST​ thing​ you did this morni​ng?​
A: Looked outside to see how the smoke was.
J: Rolled over.

When is the last time you talke​d to your fathe​r?​
A: This morning when he made me get out of bed to give my mom the phone.
J: Ewww.

Do you prefe​r a call or a text?​
A: Depends on who it is.
J: I like both. but i text more.

Do you drink​ milk strai​ght from the carto​n?​
A: I never have.
J: guilty.

What are you about​ to do?
A: get ready for my leaders meeting
J: make myself some soup. i like soup:)

Where​ is one place​ that you'​d like to visit​?​
A: Florida.
J: LONDON

Does it bothe​r you when you text someone and they take forev​er to text back?​
A: It makes me go crazy.
J: This is going to sound hypocritical coming from me, but yes.

What sport​ do you watch​ the most?​
A: swimming
J: baseball

Would​ you ever consi​der pierc​ing your lip?
A: yes
J: possibly. but i'd probably chicken out at the last minute.

Do you like the major​ity of the peopl​e you go/​went to schoo​l with?​
A: For fear of being hurt, I will not answer that question.
J: I like soup.

How is your room looki​ng?​
A: Messy and packed.
J: Messy messy messy.

Have you ever gotte​n a sunbu​rn so bad it hurt to move?​
A: yes.
J: summer 08, suckas.

Do you toss & turn for hours​ at night​ or fall right​ to sleep​?​
A: Fall right to sleep.
J: Toss and turn for HOURS ON END cause i can't stop thinking about various shizznit. plus i'm kind of an insomniac.


Have you ever used a bow and arrow​?​
A: do i look like susan?
J: once, actually. needless to say it did not end well.


Has anyon​e ever hung up on you?
A: yes
J: Ariana, cause she thought she was being funny.


If you had to choos​e betwe​en going​ on a cruis​e to the Baham​as for a week or a cruis​e for 2 weeks​ which​ would​ you pick?​
A: Can you repeat the question?
J: I'm going on a cruise to Minnesota and I'M NEVER COMING BACK.

What are you looki​ng forwa​rd to in the next month​?​
A: Thanksgiving and seeing Victor.
J: Thanksgiving to be over.

Do you fall for peopl​e easil​y?​
A: Ha.
J: Heehee, umm sort of.

Do you live with both your paren​ts?​
A: Yes.
J: For the time being.

What is it you truly​ want right​ now?
A: To be understood
J: Soup.

Do you have any sibli​ngs?​
A: Yeah and so not gonna name them all.
J: Yes and he is a stinking lying stinking ratty dirty thief.

Do you think​ you'​ll be marri​ed in 10 years​?​
A: Yes, to bryce.
J: Probably not. it's called commitmentphobia people.

Do you laugh​ at all the wrong​ times​?​
A: No, I know when to laugh.
J: I pretty much laugh all the time so maybe?

Do you have a best frien​d?​
A: No, many. Haven't I already answered this question?
J: Mmmhmm.

Have you ever had your heart​ broke​n?​
A: Plenty of times.
J: dfgdfg

Have you ever thoug​ht of havin​g plast​ic surge​ry?​
A: No.
J: Hasn't everybody THOUGHT of having plastic surgery? I've also THOUGHT of becoming a suicide bomber but that's not going to get us anywhere now is it?

Do you hate the last girl you had a conve​rsati​on with?​
A: Umm no.
J: I like boys.

Do you know anyon​e with the same name as you?
A: Yes.
J: Not personally.

Have you ever falle​n out of a tree?​
A: No, darn it.
J: Good times, good times.

Do you think​ surve​ys are point​less?​
A: Yes.
J: Completely gratuitous but thoroughly amusing.

What did you dream​ about​ last night​?​
A: idr
J: that I learned to whistle. which is odd cause i figured that one out when i was like seven.

Whos hotte​r,​ Drake​ or Josh?​
A: Drake my dear
J: Tyrone from The Backyardigans.

Do you like panca​kes?​
A: couln't live without them
J: yes, with the exception of my mothers.

Do you usual​ly make the first​ move on a guy/​girl?
A: depends
J: i don't know. i'm pretty much always stationary.

What kind of cerea​l did you last eat?
A:honey smacks
J: special k with red berries AKA my personal manna

What are you doing​ today​/​tonig​ht?​
A: leaders meeting
J: gym.

Do you like pie?
A: loveeeeee it
J: YES, especially when i eat it with kirsten

Have a good day?
A: ehhhh hasnt been the easiest
J: yes mam:)

Is anyon​e inter​ested​ in you?
A: i think
J: I can't read minds or body language.

How are you feeli​ng?​
A: pretty scared
J: i have too much energy for my own good right now.

Finding Out- Stellar Kart

Josh did this on his blog and I thought it was cool so I decieded to do it.

Put your iTunes on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Let Go- Barlow Girl

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
21st Time- Monk and Neagle

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Breaking Free- HSM Soundtrack

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Thoughts Of You-Barlow Girl

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Sleigh Ride (Remix)- Jump 5

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
The Face Of Love- Santcus Real

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Time Of My Life-Mark Shultz

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Whenever You Remember- Carrie Underwood

WHAT IS 2+2?
Undo- Rush Of Fools

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Friends- Jump 5

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Were All In This Together- HSM Soundtrack

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Holy Is The Lord- Chris Tomlin

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Wishes and Dreams- Stellar Kart

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Never Alone- Barlow Girl

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Procrastnating- Stellar Kart (wow is that one true!!)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Mountain Of God -Third Day

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Here is Our King- David Crowder Band

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Written On My Heart- Plus One (i have no idea where that song came from)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
What If- Jadon Lavik

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Rebuild- Switchfoot w/Relient K and Ruth

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Porcelain Heart- Barlow Girl

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
This Man- Jeremy Camp

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Good Life- Audio Audrenaline

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
He Reigns- Newsboys

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
My Saviour My God- Aaron Shust

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Flood- Jars Of Clay

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
How Far Is Heaven- Salvador

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Reflection- Christina Aguilera

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
It's Like Me- Kutless

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Waiting Room- Larue (soooooo true!!)

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Finding Out- Stellar Kart

Fire Update

Hey Guys, Here's my day in re cap and whew has it been a looong one.
So i wake up as if everything is okay and went on that way until my girlfriend came and picked me up for a babyshower. When my friend Christina came to the door I realized how bad things had gotten outside. Than when she told me that our other friend Natalie was completely out of reach and she thought Natalie was evacuated. I freaked a little and we kept driving. As we drove to Jess's house it became more apparent things were bad!! I couldn't believe his, I had heard it on the news plenty of times but never walked through it. We eventually got to the shower which took a little while because we had to drive through so much chaos. We were at Jenni's shower for around 25 minutes before Erin's family decided to evacuate. We helped the family evacuate than got out of there ourselves. I got to church and that's where I pretty much stayed the rest of the night. I was kind of a wreck after my excursion to Erin's. Seeing those flames was intense.I packed some stuff a little while ago. BUT I AM ON MY KNEES!!!!!!!!!!
Here are a few specific prayer request.
Pastor Bob and family (my senior pastor and his family were evacuated)
Pastor Tony and family (my youth pastor and huge ;) family were evacuated)
Jenn and her family (it isn't looking all that great)
Linda and fam (specifically for there dogs who were left behind)
Andrea and Nick (who lost their apartment in the fire)
FOR EVERYONE DON"T STOP PRAYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love You All and I Pray My Next Post Will Be A Pleasant One. <3

Please pray

guys i dont have the time to go into detail but i need ur ferveant prayer god is good i know but so many people close to me have been evacuated
PRAYYYYYYYYYYY

A Little About Me

1.What is your occupation? ccea childcare worker

2.What color are your socks right now?
green =O

3.What are you listening to right now? my mom figure out hows she getting her car back!!

4.What was the last thing that you ate? tuna salad

5.Can you drive a stick? hehehehehehe a stick hahahahaha

6.If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
a black and red swirl

7.The last person you spoke to on the phone?
susan

8.Favorite drink? carmel frapp

9.What is your favorite sport to watch? swimming or baseball

10.Have you ever dyed you hair? NO!!!!!!

11.Favorite food? Italian, Mexican

12.What was the last movie you watched? idk its been awhile

13.What do you do to vent anger? turn up my music

14.What was you favorite toy as a child? rubberr
balls

15.What is your favorite season fall or spring?
Fall silly

16.Hugs or kisses? okay so it depends on who wants
them

17.Cherries or Blueberries? BOTH

18. When was the last time you cried? saturday when i hear homesick

19. What is on the floor of your closet? purses and shoes ;)

20. Who is the friend you have had the longest
clay, zach and jess tie

21. What did you do yesterday? i went to church and in n out and a vet hospital than tony huys birthday party than hung with nathan

22.Favorite smells? my mommy baking a cake

23.What are you afraid of? BEES and josh when hes mad ;)

24 Favorite dog breed? cute small ones

25.Number of keys on your key rings? 2 keys one to my house and one to the finns house

26.Favorite day of the week? sun and wed and sat

27. How many states have you lived in? 1 how
saaaaaaaaad

28. Favorite holiday? THANKSGIVING

29.Ever driven a motorcycle or heavy machinery?
anyways thats destruction and a half

30. Ever left the country? YEP!!!! mexico

31. Favorite kind of music? no specific gengre i listen more for lyrics

32. Last book you read? the case for christ (a must read)

33. Favorite subject in school? englsih 10 and theatre arts

34. Favorite TV show? without a trace

35. What is your least favorite teacher and what do
they teach? mr koff my acting instructor

36. Favorite Pastor? Big Mike Me and Jon
Sarinana

My Prayer Right Now

"Homesick" By MercyMe

You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I'm still here so far away from home

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

In Christ, there are no goodbye
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
To see you again

And I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now

New Journey Part 5

Alright I'm really feeling the healing process beginning now! I learned two things today that are really helping me better understand this situation.

While I was in deep prayer today God answered one of my unending questions: "why have you taken my friend away and left me here to grieve?". Some of you may not agree but this has become very obvious to me as God was slowly revealing it to me over the past few weeks. God took Donna to be our sacrifice, because she was so willing. When Obama won i was in disbelief and very upset. I couldn't understand why God did this. You know just another one of my "WHY GOD?" questions. Than I read Susan's response to Obamas win (Susan and her words of wisdom ;). She said that God was calling us to come closer to him. Than as I was praying today and thanking God even though I miss my friend I felt the spirit explain this all to me. I feel very much that we are in the end times and Obamas win only solidified that even more. So I think that God is calling us to get very close with him and UNITE as a church. Me being in the middle of the crazy mess of friends Donna left behind I also get to see God working. I have seen so many people draw closer to God and to each other. We are all more like family now. Once I realized this I (overwhelmed) thanked God as tears streamed down my face that Donna was so willing to be our sacrifice. She was willing to leave her family behind, her ministry, and everything she knew to be true so that our eyes could be opened. I love you Donna and thanks for giving up your life for us to be ready for Gods coming.


The second thing I learned came on the way to acting class this morning while I was listening to a radio bible study. This completely on fire (like in your face) preacher guy was talking about trials. Convenient I know!!! And he made a few key points but me and my amazing memory didn't remember all of them!! But here is the one that really stuck out. "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou [art] with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over." I have heard this passage SO many times and never took it as much. But that really cool preacher dude was talking about these two scriptures and hadn't I been on my way to school I would have started crying (but than I would have had to re-do my makeup ;). I'm going to pick these to verses apart for you just as that really cool preacher dude did (no I didn't catch his name). So first we go through the trials (the valley of the shadow of death) and things are hard but God doesn't leave us (thy rod and thy staff they comfort me). Then as if God not leaving us during the trials isn't enough he brings us into the presence of our enemies and prepares us a banquet (you prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies). Okay so our enemies don't care and turn their backs on us during the trials. Or they make fun of us for drawing close to God and making him our refuge. Then God being God is like now I will make you sit there and watch my child who just went through the valley of death have a banquet in peace. And because God still has so much Love and compassion in him he anoints our heads with oil and our cup of blessings runs over. WHOA! So like God does the whole show in front of our enemies and than he anoints us? I want to elaborate on the anointment. Being anointed is a very special thing. In the old testament people would be anointed when they were (catch this) being assigned a special task in Gods name and BEING CALLED AS HIS CHOSEN SERVANT. He overflows our blessings after us going through the hard times and the valley of death. I was so blessed by this hope it helps everyone else.
Love You All <3

New Journey Part 4

These 2 videos were really encouraging during these times. They "why" questions haven't ever left and that is hard to cope with. But this really helped the first one is the actull song and the second video is the meaning behind the song! Please watch both there very encouraging!!!!!!!

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=hAdI67uUqjU

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=CYh8blLZdJo&feature=related

New Journey Part 3

Hey guys,
Wow life has once again turned into a roller coaster ride. I keep having my ups and downs. I have taken note of the fact that when I have my ups I'm a joyous person and that's beautiful. It is however very difficult when I'm having my down times. I was reading Susan's blog earlier and agreed with her on the thought that the grieving process is way confusing. She also stated that the things that should make her cry don't and the things that shouldn't do. I feel the same way its very odd. Like why does eating Del Taco taco's with lettuce make me cry and seeing her family doesn't?? I should probably explain ;). One time not to long ago I was at church with the Richardson's, Thompson's, and Todd's working on stuff for the Abundant Life Talent Show. Susan had made a quick run to Del Taco to get us lunch and brought it back to church. Well for those of you that know Susan you'll know that when she buys food she just drives up 2 the drive thru and asks for 50 hard shell tacos and an extra large diet coke :). Anyways my picky self needed my special Del Taco order. Instead I just took the food and ate it but than I realized the taco's had lettuce in them. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! ;0 so I just sat there quietly picking out my lettuce and Donna glanced over at me with that look she used to give. You know the confused one!! Anyways she goes uh Ayana (she used to call me that) and I was like yeah Donna? She goes WHAT ARE YOU DOING???? I busted up laughing and told her that I hate lettuce. She just kept laughing at me and smiling!! I don't know why but those simple yet sweet memories are what keep coming back. Whew I've said a lot and I need to head off to bed ;)/
Love you all <3
KEEP PRAYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love Ayana

Yes I Was Tagged =p

Here it goes my sweet friend and youth pastors wife tagged me (I just love u Julee <3 href="http://discoveringnathan.blogspot.com/">http://discoveringnathan.blogspot.com/

1. When I get mad I tend to listen to music that's super loud. Idk why but it helps me get my anger out.

2. I am addicted to texting and buying hoodies

3. I love eating butter and sour cream by themselves.

4. The walls in my room are pink but you can barely see them because they are covered in band posters, pictures, and paintings Bobby made me.

5. I take comfort in acting and feel most secure on the stage.

6. I secretly wish I could be meet my brother Seth (in heaven) sooner than God has ordained. I wish I could spend everyday with him and get to know him (make up for loss time ;)

7. I have an ambition like no other!! when i decide I want to do something nobody or nothing can change my mind. telling me you don't think its a good idea only makes it worse, i try harder. I guess that makes me more of a person that wishes to please God and myself than a people pleaser.

I Tag:
Nashes http://nashfamilyjourney.blogspot.com/
Linda http://hayase.blogspot.com/
Aunt Steph (were u avoiding this???) http://fourfinns.blogspot.com/
Joshuahhhhh http://www.theocjosh.com/
Chase http://chasesurfblog.blogspot.com/
Melissa http://bunchofcaves.blogspot.com/
Stacy (just becuase I know u were trying to avoid this and already did it)

New Journey Part 2

I thought I would share this, I made it today and It's helping a lot. It makes me feel closer to Donna :) <3

New Journey Part 1

This is a new series I am going to start writing in regards to the new journey I am going to walk without my dear friend and how I am handling things. Each part of this is going to be very difficult for me to write and you to read. But I find it severely important for everyone to see God's grace and peace through the difficult times. So here we go!!!!!



Part 1:

Here i sit wondering how I'm supposed to make it without Donna! I know that may sound blunt but I'm not going to hide my feelings. I have had my ups and downs since her death 2 weeks ago. However, the pain is still the same and as far as I see it, the part of me that is gone will always be gone. I finally got back into worship which was a huge step for me. It hurt like crazy! I won't lie it was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I ended up in tears as the raw memories came back. I did a pretty good job of staying strong at the memorial. There were two breaking points though. First, during the slide show presentation a picture (which I was in) of the worship team came up. Second, when I saw her son (drew) smile. It is insane he has so much of her face and mannerisms in him. It does bless me though to know that her life can be that close to me still. I love her family to death and the mean the world to me. I had the biggest blessing of all by being able to hang out with her kids and help with the service. I'm gently reminded God has a plan when I get down. There have been a few things that have been extremely hard for me. Worship as I said earlier and just doing the hand motions she made up. Being at church and cleaning :(. Seeing Awana without her. Timothy classes and eating Del Taco. Opening up about my life to other leaders. Lately there has been two things heavy on my heart and I will close with them. Donna made a promise to me before she left of two things: one that next semester I would help her with American girl class and two that she would help me with my ASL classes next semester. Now I'm stuck wondering why God took that away? I know this was straight forward but I want to be serious with everyone. Please pray for guidance as I seek Gods answers to those two things I feel I'm missing. Also pray for Hallelujah night this Friday as it is going to be a difficult first one without her. Love You All and Thanks <3 :).
In Grace and Love
Ayana :)
"Whatever You’re doing inside of me. It feels like chaos, but somehow there’s peace. And it’s hard surrender to what I can’t see, but I’m giving in to something heavenly
Whatever You’re doing inside of meIt feels like chaos, but I believe …You’re up to something bigger than me, Larger than life, something heavenly. Whatever You’re doing inside of meIt feels like chaos, but now I can see. This is something bigger than me. Larger than life, Something heavenly"- Whatever You're Doing by Sanctus Real

Jesus Is Holding Donna!

Dear Friends,

As many of you know at 1:50 on Thursday morning my amazing friend went home to meet her maker. We were told Wednesday night that she may not make it through the night. I had just left youth group when I found out. I was still at church and I broke down. I finally got to bed Wednesday night 50 min before my sweet friend was in the presence of our Jesus. I found out Thursday morning and had mixed emotions of happiness and grief. I am still mourning my loss and rejoicing because heaven is better this day. I am jealous of Donna, she is with my heavenly father. Haley and Sierra are rejoicing as well for their amazing mom. They know she is healed and living in peace with her dear sister. Donna finally met the man who died on the cross for her sins and now she is able to spend everyday with her sister. Things are still difficult. I had an extremely hard time at Timothy school this morning. I thought I would take this moment to share how I met my amazing friend. 5 years ago she became a cm leader with my mom and one of my moms closest friend. From the moment i met her i knew that there was something different about her. She always cared about my life and always listened i am so blessed by her. Than we started doing the summer skits together and we shared so many laughs. Time went on and God continued to let us serve together in vbs and worship. She is a huge part of my worship family. She blessed me with every single smile, hug, prayer, laugh, and luv we shared. Her life means more to me than I could even explain in words. Gods so amazed right now to have Donna by his side. Its funny because I was really dealing with the fact that God didn't heal her and Susan reminded me today that he did heal her. To Donna i miss u sister Dulce ;). But i know we;l meet again, this wasn't goodbye. So until that day I will continue in the example you have left. Thanks for the memories like hamburger safe and steve beverlys grandaughter must have been here ;). I Love you and c ya soon. In conclusion I am so blessed right now to be surrounded by such great people who care and love me. I thank you all for our calls, texts, an support. The out pour of love amazes me. May God Bless You.

Jesus took my sweet friend and Im still in shock i cant even find the words to write this. I decieded to post a link to my other friends post on this. Until I can gather myself this is it, I will write after. I think its pretty well said
Love You All <3 Thanks For Your Outpour Of Love :)
http://contentmentcorner.blogspot.com/

My Friends :)

I was thinking about how amazing each of these people are today! I am going to take a moment to say how individually sweet they are.



Bethany- I love her <3!!!!!!!!.> a short time and I cant thank God enuff for her. Thanks My deary. Thanks for the laughs and helping me to try to persuade Nicky to take us to Wal mart ;). No matter what anyone says your argument was wonderful.

Mary i mean Jenna-

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW! our relationship cracks me up! I NEED SPRINKLES AND KANODE ;) with an e? wow good times. u make me laugh and cry its interesting :). ily ;) hahahahah thxz for stalking kanode on myspace and listenting to my problems. than again im listening to u blab about how sad ur lamp is and how shiloh and kenya have better lamps =O where did that cum from? and your converse from when u were six. i love when we bought a drink from that place in the mall cuz they guy that workd there was hawt. or the time when u saw Kanode and DIED! being cheerleaders with u was fun I ADMIT ya take a picture! okay thanks chica ur da best peace out dog! (do u know that dog?). Love Shrub ahem how do u spell that?

Audrey- I love u babe. thanks for understanding me and coming thru for me. We have had some tough times but we made it thru and i give God the glory for that. Thanks for keeping me company in mehico and watching out for me. It was a scary step at first but u were there. Thanks for being an awesome christian mentor and encouraging me. Lotsa Luv <3>

Issy- I GOT YOUR NOSE! ;) hahah thanks for everything sista youv been more than a best friend. I couldnt even ask for someone like u! U have stuck by me u all the drama and I love u for that. Thanks for bringing sum humor to the east coast. I dont know what I would have done getting back to the bus early without u and ur mom. Stealing mitchs watch was fun hehehe and almost getting kicked out of the bus for our "obnoxious" talking. I think the best part of the trip was our stop at KFC :(. That was insanely GROSS! Thanks chica for putting up with my bro. I love u sunglass girl <3

Revolve Tour Highlights

Here are a few things I learned from my weekend :)


1. 2 million screaming teenage girls are LOUD!

2. Even thou this cool dude Chad is married girls still go nuts. I felt bad for him a few times


3. At an all girls conference theres no such thing as guys bathrooms.

4. Jason Dunn (as hawt as he is) can make any teenage girl scream

5. sleep was not an option

6. girls will be girls ;) many of u know what that means and if u dont im soooooo sorry :( im not going into details

Mexico Moments

The Top Ten Things That Made My Mexico Trip!

1. Showing everyone my gangster dance at carls jr

2. Getting to know the amazing people in my van

3. Staying up late taking photos

4. Playing soccer with the outreach kids at a basketball court

5. Going into the village's

6. Riding the killer bus

7. Eating tacos and ban Luce

8. Working in the children's Ministry on Sunday morning

9. Sharing the awesome laughs

10. When i was in tears and everyone took a moment tooo stop and pray for me :)

Fast :)

Hey guys i know this is a week delay on posting on the fast but I have been far to busy :(. I thought you might like a quick picture of the battle i fought that for 24 hours :)

Thursday Night:
8:00: Fast started and I finished eating dinner
After the fast started my Internet crashed! I had so much homework and I was so stressed. Once we realized the Internet wouldn't be back up until Friday morning I went over to my cousins house. Thankfully he only lives down the street :). I was at his house from 9-12 cramming homework and hoping I got a good grade :(. I got home and got in bed my 1. Satan was already trying, but I knew who won at Calvary and I promise that i s what got me by.

Friday:
I woke up by eight and finished up my hw for the week. I was okay so far, I was used to being able to skip breakfast. Once i got to church I called Jon (my youth intern) immediately and asked him to pray with me. I told him that as soon as I was out of my first class we would meet up at church and pray. I went to Case for Christ and made it thru my first class on orange juice. Afterwards, during our 15 min break i found Jon and Josiah and we all prayed. I was barely making it though at this point it was already 2 in the afternoon. Jon insisted i eat an apple silly Jon but we couldn't find one hahahaha ;). So I said i would be okay and than headed to my science class. Before I even made it there I got severe hunger pains and heard the sweet voice of the Lord asking me to stop and pray. I say this just to tell you how powerful my God is. I took some time to stop and pray and God took that pain away. I went to my science class (a little late)and was alright the rest of the time ;). Afterwards is when everything really hit and once again Jon and Josiah and I stopped and prayed. I got some more juice and prayed heavily. I was doing much better at this point reminding myself that in an hour I would be with all the other kids who were fasting and we were gonna make it. I left church for about an hour to take my mind off what was going on and run some errands. When I got back we met up and prayed before we got in cars. It was cool I was in Steph, Sky, Alicia, and Jessica's car. We had so much fun with each other. By the time we got to the last school to pray everyone was weak and tired. We energized for one last prayer that I promise was the best that night. After we broke hands from our last prayer we all screamed and got in our cars :). However, we were driving off and Marita started to get sick. So we stopped and prayed for her. Finally , we made it to Chipotle and we ran (in a very happy manner) into that wonderful place. It was so cool cuz i had dinner with Jessica, Christian, and Travis I have never carried more than 2 words with those guys it was awesome. I got to hang with my bf Jessica and get to know other people. Than I got to know Kaitlyn and a few other girls that went to Ireland a little better. God really blessed that.
Thxz For Listening
Love Ya <3